Recently I have been contemplating what makes some people successful and others unsuccessful. I am not merely talking about a person’s position within an organisation – If I were, then this would be a very shallow definition of success – After all, if it were merely wealth, position or honours, then success is based only on our external world and this would be purely superficial. If you do not agree with this statement then think about the following examples:

·          An individual is hired within a large company three tiers from the top in a well-respected position. Leveraging psychological testing, previous employment and the interview, the person is now known as passive and is clearly inexperienced to fulfil the role. They get hired because the person who hired them, their boss, intentionally chose this person, as they want to remain unaccountable. The boss is content on leaving the company running as is until their retirement, and especially on the executive pay packet they are receiving. They also need a fall guy too remain in such a cushy position if things ever went pear shaped prior to their planned ejection.

·          An individual finally becomes appointed an executive manager of a company at the expense of friends and family. They materially achieve everything above and beyond what they set out to acquire, but they are left feeling alienated with a greater sense of void within when not stressed at wits end.

Would you consider the above people successful? The first initially thinks they are successful, but soon realises they are in too deep and cannot control their surroundings – The job title no long matters when they realise they are just a pawn - The other reaches their potential at the cost of quality of life.

Obviously the above examples are missing something fundamental to be good examples of success. Looking closely at it, each exemplifies the success of something external – either the company or an external party - but where is the success for the individual. Taking these examples more personally, this post is about asking the question of what makes you a success?

Googling the three A’s, or if you have ever been to a self-success seminar – Please note I never have (not that there is anything wrong with going or not) – you would have heard about Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation of ideas to gain influence (ie. Power). That’s well and good, but I do not think this will ultimately fulfil you. Let’s be honest here, if you do not love what you do, if you do not have a passion or drive for what you are doing, you won’t be successful. The above A’s will be spotted a mile away as being put on, you’ll be ostracized as a phoney and thus not only unsuccessful, but uninfluential; Which was the intended point. I am not criticizing these three A’s, but am only saying that if you lack what lies underneath (ie. heart), then it is not only these 3 A’s that are superfluous, but any advice which is given to you.

So what three A’s am I talking about and how do they have heart? These are the key qualities I strive for in every day to support the team, and I also look for in other people to support me …

1.       Awareness – Consciously present and accepting the current situation at all times. Never dwelling too much on past successes or failures, and never too persistent about reaching the future. Attention to detail on what is important now.

2.       Attitude – Disposition towards positive thoughts and manner expressed in every action.

3.       Aptitude – Innate or acquired capability to achieve what they set out to do. Knowledge of when certain problems are beyond their capability and are happy to trust other people to perform this function.

Much more could be said about each of these three areas in greater detail, but if you simply keep them in the front of your mind (or write them down and keep them with you), and try and have them become a part of who you are, you will be a success at whatever you do. Why read copious amounts of how-tos when all you need to do is start being these qualities? The egoic mind hates that, it expects that you have to work hard for success and show everyone what a big success you are. Truthfully though, if you just are these qualities and you either accept, enjoy or love what you are being, that is success both within and without. 

In order not to go off the rails with such simple and useful advice, be sure to pressure test yourself every now and then. Enquire about what your current goals are (ie your vision), as this will be a guide for your current focal point. If this vision does not include the 3 A’s then you are “off the mark” again:

1.       Are you only focused on what others can do for you?

2.       Do you feel that you are more skilled than your other team members, and it is unfair they are on the same salary, as you clearly do more?

3.       Are you only concerned about your salary, or training, or a bonus, etc?

4.       Do you resent your boss as you are clearly more intelligent and know more than they do regarding your job?

5.       Do you resent others around you for being simple minded or different from you?

6.      Are you only satisified with competing with others and being the winner?

If you answer yes to any of the above, you are focusing on the wrong outcomes. You need to get back to the 3 A’s above, and try to apply them in daily life. In order to be less selfish, you need to give up on your opinions. That is, the current understanding of how you perceive the world in which you think you are right. Some times you do not realise that you are your own worst enemy when it comes to success.

The best question to as yourself is, am I successful now? If not, then everything (or the majority) of things you have done up to this point has not worked for you. This means letting go of your past opinions, your stubbornness, your emotional baggage, your ego, your previous unsuccessful conditionings and inviting the unknown into your life and simply seeing what happens.

Don’t just take my word for it, but be scientific and test the three A’s over a few weeks. Use it as a hypothesis in your daily thoughts and actions. For example, in your daily meetings, ask which has the better outcome…what you previously used to do or following the 3 A’s?

Finally, whatever has the better outcome, place this as the focal point of your consciousness and throw away the old. Once you have obtained somehting good, see if you can do it even better (without forcing), stop reading and go on and see what happens…